On Christmas Eve a decade ago, I was visited by three spirits. The first was the Ghost of Football Past -- a purist who longed for the way things used to be. Professional football should be played only on Sunday, it said, preferably between the hours of 1:00pm and 7:00pm Eastern, because it liked watching Chris Berman and Tom Jackson recap the games on NFL PrimeTime from 7:00pm to 8:00pm, and then it did 15 minutes of cardio before going to be bed, because it had to be up by 4:30am to catch the train to its high-demanding Mergers & Acquisitions job four towns away.
Then the ghost got sidetracked telling a story of how its boss needed it to pull paper out of the fax machine, and the paper tore, and the ghost wasn't a good problem solver (its words, not mine). So it asked the boss's assistant for advice, and the assistant ratted the ghost out to the boss, and the torn paper became a whole big "thing," when it really didn't need to be. Ugh (its words, not mine).
Eventually, it floated away, thank god. It was starting to tick me off, because honestly, what a whiner. No wonder it was passed over for a promotion in favor of Deirdre, because Deirdre works her butt off. And she doesn't have that creepy ghost vibe.
So I was trying to fall asleep, and then the Ghost of Football Present came in. Two spirits in one night? What the heck? But I went with it, because it was Christmas Eve, and what can I say? I'm a giver. "What can I do for you, Ghost 2?" I asked.
And then *I* got sidetracked wondering why they didn't make a sequel to the movie "Ghost." Molly and Sam move back in together, with Sam taking up absolutely no space, because he's a ghost and all. But he's also brought back his best friend, Steve, from The Great Beyond to live with them, and now Molly is *pissed*. Justifiably. What kind of ghost husband does that? Probably the kind of ghost husband who doesn't own his mistakes.
But then Molly contacts Oda Mae Brown to intervene, and the rest of the movie is about the budding romance between Oda Mae and Steve. I mean, it practically writes itself.
So Ghost 2 is big on today's NFL: Thursday Night Football, Sunday Night Football, Monday Night Football, bye weeks, . . . even the new day-after-Thanksgiving game. The Ghost of Football Present trusts that the NFL knows what it's doing.
And bonus points: *this* ghost loved my "Ghost 2" idea. "Draw up an outline of the screenplay," it said. "I know folks in the industry. They've all been dead for half a century, but *they* know people who are still in the business."
What a great ghost. We tried to hug as it left, but obviously that was a fail. Still, the ghost didn't make me feel awkward for trying, which I appreciated. Then I tried to explain how much I appreciated it, but then *that* turned awkward. But only for a moment, because then I realized the ghost didn't leave its number or e-mail, so I had no way of contacting it once I'd completed the outline for "Ghost 2." Then I spent four hours on LinkedIn searching for ghost profiles.
Then I tried going to sleep again, and once again a ghost comes into my room. No idea how my wife slept through all this. Regardless, the third ghost called itself the Ghost of Football Future. That intrigued me. "What's in the future?" I asked. Then it sat me down and told me something that changed my life forever: "Wednesday Night Football."
Once a year since 2015, I've devoted a column to my pet project, which is to lobby the NFL to add a Wednesday game to its weekly slate. But it's about more than just adding a new night for football. The schedule I crafted eight years ago -- and have since adjusted to accommodate the newer 17-game NFL schedule -- guarantees that no one will have to play on four-days rest (Sunday-to-Thursday) ever again.
How is this possible? For starters, the regular season would run 19 weeks instead of 18. From Week 2 thru Week 16, each division would rotate bye weeks. For example, all four AFC East teams might have their bye in Week 2, followed by the NFC West in Week 3, and so on. The only exception is the week before Thanksgiving, when two divisions would be on a bye. And of course, these bye weeks would rotate each season, so that in an eight-year span, each team would have experienced byes in Weeks 5 and 12, Weeks 6 and 13, etc. Because . . . fairness.
And to prevent games being played on four-days rest, Wednesday Night Football would feature two teams coming off a bye the previous week. Thursday Night Football would feature the *other* two teams coming off a bye (because remember, they're all in the same division). For example, if the NFC North has its first bye in Week 5, then they'd all compete on Wednesday and Thursday to kick off Week 6. So if Wednesday featured the Bears vs. Lions, then Thursday would feature the Vikings vs. Packers. And later in the season, they'd run it back right after their next bye, but maybe this time Wednesday would feature the Lions vs. Packers and Thursday would feature the Bears vs. Vikings.
So any team playing Wednesday would be coming off a nine- or 10-day break (depending on whether they played on Sunday or Monday before their bye). Thursday teams would have a 10- or 11-day break. This would help improve the quality of nationally televised mid-week games, because players suffering concussions or other ailments in a game have a better chance of recovering before their next game if it's 9+ days away vs. 4+.
Again, been sharing this once each season since 2015. There's no way the NFL will do it. But in that "Commissioner for a Day" game where someone gets to be the commissioner, I wouldn't treat it ceremoniously. I'd call a press conference at noon to announce the framework for the new schedule for the following season, in the hope that fans, players, and team management would like it more than the current schedule.
Then Roger Goodell would have a dilemma: Announce that I have no authority to change the NFL schedule, and that he's keeping the one they have? Or embrace the Ghost of Football Future's vision, knowing that it's practically predestined to happen?
And if Goodell gets his way, then I'll call another press conference to announce casting dates for "Ghost 2: Boo-Hoo-Hoo." Always have a backup plan. . . .